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11/29/2019 0 Comments

5 Easy Steps to Self-Care

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Self-care is the 'in' word lately. We’ve all heard how we need to be practicing self-care daily to keep us healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. No one denies the benefits of a great self-care routine, but how do we get started? 
 
First, let’s knock out some misconceptions about self-care by talking about what self-care is NOT.
  • Self-care is NOT being late to work every day because we needed to sleep in.
  • Self-care is NOT bingeing on ice cream sundaes every night because we deserve a little dessert after dinner.
  • Self-care is NOT saying whatever comes to mind even if hurts people just because we need to be true to our feelings.
  • Self-care is NOT depriving our families of our nurturing presence because we can’t handle the responsibilities of parenthood.
 
I think you get the idea. 
 
Now, let’s talk about what self-care IS.


  • Self-care IS checking in with yourself and your emotions before making a big, impactful decision.
  • Self-care IS treating ourselves to little indulgences here and there that still make us feel good about ourselves and don’t hurt our wallets or waistlines.
  • Self-care IS making sure to go to bed early if we’re tired so that we get enough sleep.
  • Self-care IS cutting out that third cup of coffee because we realize the caffeine is adding to our daily anxiety.
  • Self-care IS taking a timeout from our family responsibilities to go for a walk or do another alone activity to recharge.
 
Self-care, or caring for oneself, is the practice of making yourself and your needs of equal importance and value to those around you. If your child deserves a warm bath every night before bed, so do you. If your husband deserves two hours alone at the gym three times a week, so do you. If your coworker deserves that week-long vacation, so do you. 
 
Sometimes, what we need most is not a step-by-step plan on “How to do self-care”. 
What we need most is that shift in thinking that allows us to realize we deserve it!
 
Now for the sake of time, let’s assume you DO realize you deserve great self-care and you’re ready to take action. Where do you begin?
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5 Easy Steps to Get Started with Self-Care

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1. Get enough sleep. 

Arguably, this is the most important step by far. Studies have shown that 7-8 hours of sleep is ideal. Those who consistently get fewer than 5-7 hours of sleep per night are 12% more likely to suffer from premature death. Those getting over 8-9 hours of sleep per night are 30% more likely to suffer from premature death!
 
7-8 hours of sleep is ideal for helping to:
  • Improve memory function
  • Improve appetite management
  • Improve general mood and disposition
  • Decrease risk of diabetes
  • Decrease risk of heart disease
  • Decrease risk of obesity
 
How do you get more sleep? Try going to bed earlier by 5-10 minutes each night until you reach the desired sleep time. If you have small children, try to nap when they nap.
 
If you are having trouble sleeping, try the following:
  • Take a warm bath before bed
  • Take a gentle walk outdoors an hour or two before bed
  • Avoid heavy meals right before bed
  • Avoid alcohol and other drugs
  • Avoid caffeine
  • Avoid heavy activity right before bed​

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2. Move.

​Staying active, even moderately, has been shown to increase energy levels, boost health and immunity, and improve mood. Now, we’re not talking about spending endless hours in the gym every day. If that’s what you like to do, more power to you! But even a 30 minute walk every day, or most days, will garner you the same results in overall wellbeing.
 
The Mayo Clinic states that regular exercise can help you:
  • Control weight by helping to burn more calories
  • Combat health conditions like heart disease, depression, stroke, diabetes, high blood pressure, anxiety, cancer, arthritis, and more
  • Improve mood and decrease everyday stress levels
  • Boost energy, improve muscle strength, and boost endurance
  • Get better sleep
  • Increase sex drive by boosting confidence and enhancing arousal levels

​Moving is an essential part of your self-care routine. If you’re not into the gym, grab a friend and go for a walk around your neighborhood. Better yet, take the kids on a hike! Being out in nature has been proven to have its own set of benefits on health and mood.

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3. Nourish yourself.

Nourishing your body with healthy foods is an important component to any self-care routine. Eating a variety of fresh, healthy foods (along with the occasional treat!) will keep you feeling good emotionally and physically. 
 
Medical News Today gives the most important reasons to make sure we are nourishing ourselves with healthy food each day:
  • Weight management to decrease risk of chronic health conditions like heart disease and diabetes
  • Decreased cancer risk with intake of antioxidants in fruits and veggies
  • Diabetes management by regulating blood sugar levels
  • Up to 80% decrease in premature heart disease and stroke cases
  • Increase in health awareness and better food choices for the next generation
  • Stronger bones and teeth
  • Decrease in depression and fatigue by lowering glycemic intake
  • Increased memory and decrease in dementia
 
This doesn’t mean you have to become a vegan or vegetarian, or start up Paleo or Keto or any other fad diet out there. It could be as simple as adding in more veggies and fruit and decreasing your daily soda and candy intake. And by golly, keep eating that dish of ice cream every now and then! A little indulgence here and there is not the end of the world for your scale, and does wonders to make you feel less deprived and more free. 

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4. Take breaks to recharge.

Taking some time for yourself every day is critical to your mental health. This means doing something that you WANT to do just because you want to do it. 
 
Different activities will appeal to different types of people. For instance, if you are an introvert, your daily breaks may look a lot different than if you are an extravert.
 
Recharging ideas for introverts:
  • Read a book
  • Go for a walk in nature by yourself
  • Take a long, interrupted bubble bath
  • Lay on your bed and listen to music
  • Engage in a craft like crocheting or needlepoint
 
Recharging ideas for extraverts:
  • Go out to dinner with some friends
  • Talk to a friend on the phone
  • Go to a live music event
  • Grab some coffee with your bestie
  • Participate in a local community event
 
If you don’t know if you are an introvert or an extravert, consider what kinds of activities energize you. If the introvert list above looks horribly boring and pointless, you are probably an extravert, meaning you like to recharge around other people. If the extravert list above looks daunting and like a lot of work, you are probably an introvert and prefer to recharge by yourself with no one else around.
 
Knowing this one thing about yourself can be a life changer!

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5. Be grateful.

Being grateful means that we recognize good things in our lives and are thankful for them. If we keep an attitude of gratitude, and focus on good things in our lives instead of the problems in our lives, we will be much happier every day.
 
Gratitude is defined by Robert Emmons in two parts. The first part is about goodness. We recognize that there are good things in the world that we have received. The second part is the recognition that the source of those good things is outside ourselves through other people or through a higher power.
 
I’ve heard it said that the things we focus on get bigger. If we’re focused on our problems, they’ll get bigger. If we focus on the good in our lives, the good will get bigger. Practicing gratitude regularly keeps us focused on the good in our lives.
 
3 steps of gratitude:
  • At least once per day, quiet yourself for five minutes and go through a list, mentally or on paper, of all the things in your life right now that you are grateful for
  • Thank the people (or a higher power if you are spiritually inclined) for the good they have brought into your life
  • Pay it forward by giving a stranger a compliment, smiling more, and complaining less to those around you​
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After practicing these five steps of self-care, you will be amazed at how your life transforms! Sleep, exercise, healthy eating, taking mental breaks, and practicing gratitude all contribute to a healthy YOU – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. 
 
It’s never too late to start a new routine. If it looks overwhelming, start small. Add an apple to your lunch every day. Go for a short walk around your neighborhood after dinner this week. Pull out a scrap paper, and list all the things you’re thankful for. 
 
This isn’t rocket science, but it does take some effort. The best part is that for a small investment in yourself each day, the payoff is HUGE! You, and those closest to you, will start seeing changes in your overall mood within days. And you may even start influencing those around you to take better care of themselves as well.
 
If you want an even deeper look into self-care, get my book Practical Soul Care today!

All the best!
Kelli

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    Author

    I am a mom of three, marketing guru, and founding CEO of Moms Next Door, Inc., a nonprofit organization fulfilling basic family needs so mothers can prioritize their own self care. I hold a degree in psychology and have years of study in self-care, mental illness, addictions recovery, codependency, and spirituality. I invite you to come with me on this journey to guilt free self care. Every mother, every woman for that matter, needs a safe place to vent, to learn, to advance, and to be supported and lifted up. This blog and The Ascended Mom community was created to provide exactly that. 

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